Bad TV : the very best of the very worst by Craig Nelson

By Craig Nelson

Celebrating the amazingly undesirable exhibits that experience made it onto tv and into the yank psyche, a hilarious television nostalgia publication offers out awards to undesirable classics in each classification, spotting the worst of the worst in television history.

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If only we could all have lived this way: if only rea l teen emotions were this interesting . if only high-school life was this tranquil .. if only your kids' biggest drug problem was like Republican egomaniac Shannen Doherty being caught with a cigarette ... how great things would bel Just as it's about to fall over the cliff of unbclievabi lity, though, 902/0 flirts with realness via its one real Beverly Hills denizen, the gawky, tumultuous, body-perfect Tori (daughter of producer Aaron) Spelling, in whose disturbed visage one can instantly view the turmoil and drama of the true-life Beverly Hills High.

Knots Landing, 1979. • Harris, Lisa Hartman, and Donna Mills. Why has it endured far beyond Dynasty. Falcon Crest, and even its parent, Dallas? A true knack for the BAD! In 1991 alone, for example, Michelle Phillips had to impersonate a dead woman and dig through canine feces in search of a significant microfiche, Claudia stole someone's liver, and Joan Van Ark's head trauma led her to hair experiments. In a mere twelve years Michele Lee has been a widow, a single mother, a talk-show hostess, a drug addict, a kidnapping victim, a shooting victim, and the victim of a psychotic fan, while Joan Van Ark has been a novelist, a waitress, a wife (four times), an insatiable adulteress, and a head case.

Love That Bob, 1955. You can read as much of "The Playboy Philosophy'' as you want without getting a real picture of this long-lost art form . To see and understand completely what it was really like to be a fifties sex maniac (and be totally within societal norms at the same time), just catch an episode or so of Love Thai Bob. With "master thespian" Bob Cummings (in the eponymous role of a fashion photographer surrounded by nubile young models), his live-in nephew (the pre-Dobie Dwayne Hickman), and his infatuated secretary (the pre-Brady Ann B.

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